Aha! I found Kelly's password so I can update the site on all the going's on here on the Fey Realm.
Kerrik is mad at me again. Not that him being mad at me is a new thing. I can’t help the fact that I’m better at darts than he is.
Solas, this is Kerrik. I am not angry with you for winning two out of three games of darts. I am angry with you that the dart your threw after the game was over was obviously aimed at my backside. It is a good thing I have quick reflexes.
Az and Gwen are off somewhere on a second honeymoon. I don’t understand honeymoons anyway. I studied astronomy. I understand full moons and new moons and even those little crescent moons. But honeymoons?
There’s lots of stuff happening here on the Realm. Scorra is having a birthday. Don’t tell him, but we’re throwing him a surprise party. I’m wondering where we’ll be able to find 800 candles for the cake though.
Solas, this is Scorra. 800 candles?
I've also decided to share my wealth of knowledge with you folks on the earth realm. So I started an "Ask Solas" section. So send me your questions and I'll answer them.
Kerrik is mad at me again. Not that him being mad at me is a new thing. I can’t help the fact that I’m better at darts than he is.
Solas, this is Kerrik. I am not angry with you for winning two out of three games of darts. I am angry with you that the dart your threw after the game was over was obviously aimed at my backside. It is a good thing I have quick reflexes.
Az and Gwen are off somewhere on a second honeymoon. I don’t understand honeymoons anyway. I studied astronomy. I understand full moons and new moons and even those little crescent moons. But honeymoons?
There’s lots of stuff happening here on the Realm. Scorra is having a birthday. Don’t tell him, but we’re throwing him a surprise party. I’m wondering where we’ll be able to find 800 candles for the cake though.
Solas, this is Scorra. 800 candles?
I've also decided to share my wealth of knowledge with you folks on the earth realm. So I started an "Ask Solas" section. So send me your questions and I'll answer them.
Ask Solas
Here's a few letters I've already received.
I received a letter this week from Paul in Houston, TX. Paul writes, “Dear Solas, my wife of 15 years has decided to leave me for another fellow. Can you give me any advice on how to get her back?”
Well Paul, my recommendation is that you gather up all the things she hasn’t taken with her and put them in a box. Fold her clothes neatly and carefully wrap her knick knacks in paper so they don’t get broken. Then pee on everything in the box. Seal the box with tape and set it in the sun for a couple of days. She’ll get the message.
Solas, this is Kerrik, you are an idiot.
I received a letter this week from Tina in Orlando, FL. Tina writes, “Dear Solas, I really want a baby but I’m afraid I can’t get pregnant. Can you help?”
Hell yeah I can help. I’ll give you a call
I received a letter this week from Paul in Houston, TX. Paul writes, “Dear Solas, my wife of 15 years has decided to leave me for another fellow. Can you give me any advice on how to get her back?”
Well Paul, my recommendation is that you gather up all the things she hasn’t taken with her and put them in a box. Fold her clothes neatly and carefully wrap her knick knacks in paper so they don’t get broken. Then pee on everything in the box. Seal the box with tape and set it in the sun for a couple of days. She’ll get the message.
Solas, this is Kerrik, you are an idiot.
I received a letter this week from Tina in Orlando, FL. Tina writes, “Dear Solas, I really want a baby but I’m afraid I can’t get pregnant. Can you help?”
Hell yeah I can help. I’ll give you a call
Today, I received a letter from Vet. She asks "In a game of badminton between you and Kerrik, who would win?"
Well Vet, we don't actually have badminton games here, so I studied up on the rules of the game. What I don't understand is why anyone would want to hit a bird with a racket. And I've never seen a shuttlecock before. Is that a type of rooster? We have roosters. But hitting a rooster with a racket would cause the rooster to go a little nutso on you. They have those big spurs and can really hurt you. So I would let Kerrik hit the rooster first. Therefore, I would win.
Well Vet, we don't actually have badminton games here, so I studied up on the rules of the game. What I don't understand is why anyone would want to hit a bird with a racket. And I've never seen a shuttlecock before. Is that a type of rooster? We have roosters. But hitting a rooster with a racket would cause the rooster to go a little nutso on you. They have those big spurs and can really hurt you. So I would let Kerrik hit the rooster first. Therefore, I would win.
Dear Solas,
What is the weather like on the Faerie Realm.
Your Friend,
Bobby
Dear Bobby,
The Fey Realm reports 75 degrees and sunny. But I know that there are lots of you out there who are dealing with a lot of snow. We do get snow here except up in the Frostlands, way up north. So one year, while Marco, Kerrik and me were at the Academy (and yes, for your grammar people out there, I know me should be I, but I like me better). Well anyway, when we were at the Academy, we found out that kids on the Earth plane got out of school lots of days because of snow. So, in our infinite wisdom, we decided to make it snow on the Faerie Realm. So we conjured up a snow storm. The three of us got together and asked it to snow for one week. Well I think that the folks upstairs decided to play a joke on us. Because we each got one week. I got a week. Marco got a week. And, Kerrick got a week. Three weeks of snow. We got into so much trouble and had to do extra assignments. We never did our snow conjuring ever again. But I have to say, it was three of the best weeks of my life. Snow is fun and it was really pretty too. I know people have to go to work and stuff. But we were kids and it's a memory I will always cherish.
Solas, this is Kerrik. You are worrying me. "Pretty"? "Cherish"? Who are you and what have you done with my friend?
What is the weather like on the Faerie Realm.
Your Friend,
Bobby
Dear Bobby,
The Fey Realm reports 75 degrees and sunny. But I know that there are lots of you out there who are dealing with a lot of snow. We do get snow here except up in the Frostlands, way up north. So one year, while Marco, Kerrik and me were at the Academy (and yes, for your grammar people out there, I know me should be I, but I like me better). Well anyway, when we were at the Academy, we found out that kids on the Earth plane got out of school lots of days because of snow. So, in our infinite wisdom, we decided to make it snow on the Faerie Realm. So we conjured up a snow storm. The three of us got together and asked it to snow for one week. Well I think that the folks upstairs decided to play a joke on us. Because we each got one week. I got a week. Marco got a week. And, Kerrick got a week. Three weeks of snow. We got into so much trouble and had to do extra assignments. We never did our snow conjuring ever again. But I have to say, it was three of the best weeks of my life. Snow is fun and it was really pretty too. I know people have to go to work and stuff. But we were kids and it's a memory I will always cherish.
Solas, this is Kerrik. You are worrying me. "Pretty"? "Cherish"? Who are you and what have you done with my friend?